Hi there, it’s Stacey again, and thanks for hanging out with me! I feel so blessed to be writing this blog. If you told me a couple of months ago I would be blogging about mental health awareness and inspiring wellness, I never would have believed you. BUT, life has a real funny way of unfolding sometimes. While I battled depression (or at least that’s what they thought it was) since I was 19 years old (20 years ago!), my real mental health journey only started a few months ago in May of 2020. This is when I was hospitalized for harming myself, and it was a series of events that lead me to my rock bottom.
On Valentine’s Day 2018, my cousin passed away from ovarian cancer only 6 months after being diagnosed. Later that year in December, one of my best friends passed away from colon cancer. Six months after that, my grandmother succumbed to her COPD and left us. While the grief was enough to deal with, I was married a few months after that, separated a few months after that (don’t worry, we’re back together again), and then COVID-19 hit and my work hours were reduced, sending me into a downward spiral. (Sigh). It was a lot to handle, and I wasn’t handling it. I wasn’t taking care of myself AT ALL. In fact, I was doing the opposite by numbing my pain with alcohol and marijuana. No wonder I had a nervous breakdown! While I knew rock bottom isn’t where I wanted to stay, I knew needed serious help to get back on my feet. What I share here with you are invaluable lessons I have learned over time, that ANYONE can use in their lives. Which brings me to my first topic: Self-Care.
The definition of self-care is an easy one: to care for one’s self. This seems obvious, but not everyone practices it. For me, self-care means self-love. We love ourselves so we must care for ourselves. Ever heard of the phrase, your body is your temple? Well, so is your mind, and we must give it love too. Some think they don’t have time for self-care. They have kids, they work and commute, they’re too tired, and they have more important things to do. Well, I hate to break it to you, but those are all excuses (whomp, whomp). We all have the time. You just have to manage your time to fit it in each day. It’s possible, I promise.
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of self-care? Firstly for me, it’s going to bed at the same time each night so I get a good night of sleep. Us bipolars are doomed if we don’t sleep, so that has to be my number one. My strategy for this is to shut down all screens by 9 pm every night in order to wind down my mind, and go to sleep by 10 pm. I practice this every night, including weekends. Once in a while, I’ll let myself have “late nights” (bedtime at 11 pm) so I can enjoy a Saturday night with friends. During my hour wind down, I may read, journal, or take a bath. All of these wind me down, and allow for a great night of sleep. You may be thinking, EW I don’t want to do any of those. That’s fine too. Here are some other suggestions:
- Listen to music
- Take a nap
- Watch a favorite movie
- Meditate
- Get a massage
- Cook your favorite meal or learn how to cook!
- Call your family/friends
- Go for a walk/hike/run
- Deep breathing
These are just a few suggestions. Basically, do anything that makes YOU feel GOOD! Doesn’t sound so hard, right?! Because its not. Its just a little something you do for you each day. It’s a simple idea that creates major results. Without self-care, you are putting everyone and everything else before yourself. You are literally neglecting yourself and your own needs. We become so good at pleasing others that we forget to please ourselves. Taking care of YOU is the most important care you can give. I promise.
I leave you with this poem: Interchangeable terms, self-love and self-care, Music and cooking, options everywhere. Thoughts are racing, it’s all in our head, Trying to relax, and we can breathe instead. Important is ourselves, neglect we shall not, The skills and tools are here, coming in hot. A good night of sleep, it is a must, Otherwise our days, will be an absolute bust. Baths and journals, self-care everyday, Believing in us, it’s the only way.
Xoxo,
Stacey
